Inspiration through loneliness

 Here is a picture of my writing room. As you can see, it is plain and white and uncluttered. I like it that way.  

People often say (they don't ask) that writing must be a very lonely task - sitting in a white and uncluttered room with only yourself for company.

"I couldn't possibly do that," says one.

"I am a people person," says another.  

This last comment seems to imply that I am not a people person, that I am somehow inflicted with a writers' illness of solitude and that I have succumbed to its symptoms, for example: a need to put myself into solitary confinement - to enter the white room, that empty white room like a monk's cell.

But it is not like that at all. When I enter the white room for a writing session, my head is full of ideas, full of characters, and full of thoughts and feelings. More than this, a good writing session gives me direction, helps me to see what is important to me, helps me clarify things and to allow thoughts and words and feelings to flutter up from... I don't know where.

What I have found is that not writing can make me lonely. When I am not writing I become cranky, out of sorts and overly self-reflective and critical of myself and of others. To put it bluntly, I become a pain in the backside. Not writing gives the world an unpleasant tilt. For example, I invite people to our house for the weekend. As the day of their arrival approaches, I get nervy, irritable and out of sorts. Two full days! Two days of not writing! The prospect of having these weekend guests makes me despair. But it also makes me feel guilty because I invited these guests in the first place but their presence will mean two days of irritability and of wanting to be somewhere else.

I try, but don't always succeed, to get some good writing sessions done before the friends arrive. That way, when they walk through the door, my head will be empty of thoughts and feelings, and I will have much more space for the thoughts and feelings of others. In other words, I have the space and the need for companionship.  

Loneliness, therefore, comes not from writing but from not writing. Now I have finished this blog, I am ready for anything!  

 

 

Comments

[Tina Goddard]

As your beloved wife, I could not agree more - especially with the comment "To put it bluntly, I become a pain in the backside". Go and start another book lovely husband :-)

[Christopher Goddard]

Probably my own lady would agree with the 'pain in the bottie' bit - not about Robert but about me :) and in fact she reserves a special phrase for me in Russian (which she uses to show humour or exasperation): 'Zgin, n'ye chistaya sela', which means 'Be off with you, foul spirit' :)

[robert john goddard]

Or, as Milton put it, "Whence and what art thou, execrable shape, That dar'st though grim and terrible, advance Thy miscreated front athwart my way To yonder gate...OR in modern English: Who the hell are you, shit face. Fuck off!