It was February 2024. There I was, standing in central Naples, my head full of memories from more than 40 years previously. My mind was brimming over with pieces of my life, and all of them were connected to a person I no longer was, a person I had left behind many years previously. Later, from the top of a tourist bus, we drove through the streets and the neighborhoods I used to know only to realize just how different they were. New buildings had been put up, others had been torn down. I knew then that not only had I changed since the 1980s when I had lived there but the place had changed too. It was a bittersweet feeling to have when I realised that nothing would ever be the same again. All I had were memories, and memories are only loosely connected to reality.
This reality is that a constant process of making connections and reinventing ourselves is going on. Only on reflection can we tell ourselves that the last time we were here (or there) we were about to embark on a new journey of some kind or there was an experience that left us forever changed. We cannot know this at the time! Only on reflection do we look back at our lives and make the past connect with the present. We think we can identify the moments that changed us and made us evolve into the people we are now. Other memories are, perhaps, shoved out of the door because they invite pain. Discarded they remain, if not forgotten, then pushed aside. It’s the human way.
Nonetheless, nostalgia will often have its way. We sometimes immerse ourselves in dreams or romanticize moments of our lives, even if there were so many negative factors involved. Perhaps, this is why some older people talk warmly about moments in their youth when they were struggling. Yes, the present and future may be difficult and painful. Perhaps, romanticising the past allows us to see the good in every situation and this keeps us moving in bad times. Perhaps, romanticising inspires us to believe there is always room for progress. Romanticising the past (and especially the people in it) is very common both in real life and in literature. Think of "Lolita" by Nabokov, "Le Grand Meaulnes" by Alain Fournier and "The Great Gatsby" by Fitzgerald.
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